Back to School.

A time of unrest for parents everywhere. After enjoying an entire summer of fun and frolic, it's time to get serious and shop for everything your child needs to flourish during the new school year. With three kids I don't have to tell you, this is quite a chore. At least if they were triplets I could just buy three sets of everything, but with three kids in three different grades, I'm in school supply hell. A protractor here, a 3 ring binder there, notebook paper: college ruled, wide ruled, quadrille ruled...it's enough to drive a Mommy mad.

Until I found the secret. Staples.

I don't mean add a box of staples to your school supply shopping list. I mean take out your laptop, stay in your comfy pajamas and order all of your children's school necessities online at Staples.com. You don't even have to get out of bed. I cannot recommend Staples more for Back to School Shopping. I just asked my kids' schools to email or fax me a list of recommended supplies based on their grade levels and voilà! Point, click, order, done. With fast free delivery on orders over $50 it couldn't have been any easier.

Free shipping. Big savings. No kids screaming in car.

Any questions?

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Whether you're following the Beijing games or not, everyone is talking about the swimming Olympian sensation Michael Phelps. He broke his own record with his first dip in the pool during the 400m individual medley and is looking to break Mark Spitz's record of seven gold medals at a single Olympics back in 1972...but more importantly, just check out how he looks in a Speedo.

Besides Olympic success, Michael is swimming in financial success with a multi-million dollar endorsement deal with Speedo. It truly is the American dream personified when a young amateur athlete from Rodgers Forge Maryland can make six figures just for wearing a skimpy brief, but we're no strangers to this athlete endorsement phenomenon. Nike is paying Tiger Woods, Maria Sharpova, and Derek Jeter handsomely to sport the Nike Swoosh, and I'm not even going to begin to guess how much tennis stars and sisters Venus and Serena Williams make to show off their tennis whites. So for an athlete today it seems your regimen is train, train, train, win the game, break the record, and look good in your athletic gear while doing it.

If you want to look as good as Michael Phelps in his athletic gear, first hit the gym, then the swimming pool, then Total Nutrition...and finally slip into some Speedos of your own. Catalogs.com is proud to jump onto the Speedo bandwagon with three catalogs featuring men's and women's slick Speedo styles that are endorsed by Michael Phelps himself: Swim to Win, Pure Blue Swim and Trisports.com.

I can't promise you'll look like Michael Phelps in your Speedo, or win a gold medal...but it's a start.

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How to Make Online Shopping Even Easier.

1. Keep your purse right next to the computer.

It's all about proximity. If your office is upstairs, keep the handbag there. The closer your wallet and credit cards are, the easier it is to shop online.

2. Compare prices.

Just because you find what you're looking for at the top of your Google search, doesn't mean it's the very best value. Didn't your Mama ever tell you you'd better shop around? Comparative shopping online is so easy, unlike trekking from store to store on foot to compare prices and sales at the mall. Put on your Bob Barker thinking cap and look around until you guessed it, the price is right.

3. Love thy coupon.

Online coupons are everywhere, and it's worth a few cyberminutes of your time to seek them out and use them. Whether it's 15% off or free shipping, seek thy coupon and ye shall find. Catalogs.com is swimming with cute little red tag specials and money saving certificates. We're cool that way.

4. Read product reviews.

If product reviews are listed, read them. They'll give you honest feedback on the product you're buying and will keep you from making a completely blind purchase. They'll provide tips on product performance, visuals and other useful tidbits they may not list in the product description. I've acquired many a pair of perfect fit shoes from fellow online shoppers warning me to order a size up because certain heel sizes run small.

5. Hide online receipts from husband.

This tip is self-explanatory.

And for a few other, less cheeky online shopping tips- here's what our friends from onlinesavingsaccounts.com have to say...

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market creating a wave of controversy. Black Canary Barbie, based on a comic book character of the same name has created quite a stir with the Christian Voice due to her Goth/S&M-like clothing choices.

Awhile back, I met the director, writer and producer of an interesting 15 minute gem of a film called “The Tribe: An Unorthodox, Unauthorized History of the Jewish People and the Barbie Doll". An official selection at both Sundance and the Tribeca Film Festival, the movie introduced the creator of the Barbie doll Ruth Handler, who was also the co-founder of Mattel, and all around lovely Jewish lady.

Having passed in 2002, Ruth is no longer with us to comment, but here are my thoughts on all this Black Canary Controversy.

1. Simply put, being a Mom of 3, I’d prefer it if Barbie didn’t look like a slut or a punker.

2. I don’t want my kids wearing fishnet hose. Furthermore, I don't want my kids playing with toys or children who wear fishnet hose.

3. Frankly, my 3 kids NEVER enjoyed playing with Barbie dolls, HOWEVER, I did and I loved them. I especially loved dressing them up and brushing their hair until they turned bald.

4. I’m OK with glittering, beautiful gowns and somewhat sexy revealing clothes (after all… it’s reality) but I don’t think we need to go to extremes. God knows, eventually there will be a Barbie with bellybutton rings, triple ear piercings and a tongue that is pierced for “you know what reason"!

5. I LOVE it that Barbie has career aspirations. Barbie is now a doctor, an astronaut, a musician, a lawyer … I think it’s important to achieve positive goal setting and good reinforcement of desirable careers and behavior. Black leather with fishnet stockings is NOT part of the uniform I want my two girls wearing when they enter the workplace.

6. Dolls can be an important part of child play. In fact, child psychiatrists have often used dolls to allow kids to play out/act out what there hidden problems are (kids can talk more easily to dolls that to adults). It would be a shame for this Barbie to give other dolls a bad rap.

7. I’m sure poor Ruth never envisioned Barbie becoming a ho (if the fishnets fit) back in 1959 when she first invented Barbie, named after her dear daughter Barbara. And I certainly doubt that Barbara dresses like Black Canary today.

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*Warning: this may be deemed purely a bitching blog about Sears Maintenance and Warranty on my ice maker. Continue reading at your own risk.

I spend about $150 – 200 per year on my ice maker and refrigerator maintenance warranty from Sears. I have a stand alone Whirlpool ice maker that is covered under said warranty.

Within the last 12 months, Sears repairmen have come out to my house not one, not two, but ten freaken times. Yes, in my opinion, that deserves a freaken. Readers, I have no damn ice. Repairmen keep bringing over and ordering new parts, one at a time, but to no avail. Let’s see… over the past twelve or so months I’ve accumulated a new compressor, a new evaporator, a new cooling system, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg (pun very much intended) but because I have to have 4 qualifying times in 1 year, they do not consider this to be enough. I am now in the heat of July in the Sunshine State with no damn ice. I am schlepping to Publix at least two times a week to buy bags of ice (which incidentally is taking up all of my freezer space, go figure).

The repairmen were at my house, yet again last week and it still won’t make ice. I called again today and they told me I had to wait 48 hours for it to make ice. This is hogwash! God created the world in 7 days, it shouldn’t take 2 days to make ice.

My history of service calls is as follows:

April 17, 2007 no ice.
April 24, 2007 adjusted condenser coils and cleaned them.
April 30, 2007 repaired leak – water flowing out onto kitchen floor.
Oct 7, 2007 no ice. replaced evaporator and cleaned coils
June 10, 2007 replaced compressor, charged it, fixed water valve and replaced entire pump
June 13, 2008 connected water line they forgot to 3 days ago
July 22, 2008 replaced switch, evacuated, recharged unit – still no ice as of today

Looks like I’m not alone. There are a few other consumers who like me, aren’t enjoying the softer side of Sears.

Post a comment to 'No ice ice baby'

As I mentioned last week, I was scheduled to speak at a marketing education event, and I'm glad to say my speech went off without a hitch. I pictured everyone in their granny panties and tighty whities, and all was fine. I met a few lovely people who were seated at my table and struck up a conversation with one lovely woman in particular, Heidi Richards. It turns out Heidi has her own business blog like I do, while I confess about being a shopaholic, she focuses on Tulip Talk. I mentioned that I had an upcoming event on the horizon and she told me about her booming online floral business - EdenFlorist.com. We exchanged cards, and said our goodbyes. It's always nice to make new contacts. Imagine my surprise a few days later when I received an exquisite arrangement of burnt orange colored roses at work.

All I can say is, what a smart business move by a savvy entrepreneur to hopefully obtain a chance to bid on an upcoming function. Sometimes you have to go the extra mile past handing someone a business card. Take a cue from Heidi and flower future employers or customers with a little extra something that sets you apart from the rest.

The power of a flower certainly goes a long way.

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I'm frustrated.

It's 11:18 pm, and I just spent a decent amount of time creating my own special image and uploading a custom photo and text to be used in ordering 12 bottles of wine from Windsor Vineyards catalog. I love it, I can customize each bottle with my OWN special label. It's like I have my own winery, without having to stomp on all the grapes.

I trust this company. In fact, I ordered from them last year. I sent my pediatrician a case of wine for not making me wait as long as others (call it bribery if you will, but a busy mom of 3 who owns her own company can't afford to wait in a busy doctor's office for 3 hours: TIMES 3 KIDS). The gift was well worth the price I paid, plus I custom inscribed on the bottle "To the world's BEST Pediatrician" so he could brag to his friends while serving a tasty bottle of wine.

Well, long story short, Windsor Vineyards is FORCING ME TO remember my password from a year ago?! I can't even remember what I received for my birthday a year ago, let alone my password. I attempted to log in as a new account holder but it said that an account had already been established under that email address. Then I exited, logged into my Hotmail account, and my password reminder still wasn't there. Hello! I've already saved my custom photo and text and created an unbelievable personalized card! What are you doing to me Windsor?! I'm going to need to down a few bottles of wine just to get over this ordeal.

ONLINE STORES -- DON'T BE STUPID --- Get your websites working properly. You don't want a slew of irate customers swearing off your business forever. To avoid UPSET SHOPPERS like me, listen and learn-

My 5 biggest pet peeves about ordering product online …

1. Forcing the consumer to “register” or become a member. It's like forcing people to be your friends...seems a little desperate to me.

2. Asking for credit card information prior to shipping charges being disclosed. I want to know what my total is going to be before I agree to pay it.

3. Asking me to remember my password. I think you should simply have to remember the magic word...please.

4. Failing to tell me that an item is out-of-stock BEFORE I complete the entire order....that's entrapment, and I'm not down with it.

5. Not allowing a personal gift message and sending a copy of the invoice to the person I gave the gift to (and often, in my case, this includes the savings code discount I used off of Catalogs.com).

Update-

It is now 11:41 pm, I have just NOW successfully completed my order ONLY because I used a different email address than my main one. This is just poor marketing, sales and a good way to frustrate an otherwise happy shopper!

Post a comment to 'Wine Woes'

The ugly divorce battle is over between Supermodel Christie Brinkley and her estranged husband Peter Cook. Brinkley will retain sole custody of her children after reaching a settlement last week after a very public and embarrassing trial for Cook especially, who was accused of racking up obscene internet porn charges, having an affair with his teenage assistant, and buying drugs at a gay truck stop. Nice moves Peter.

I think it’s great that the Uptown Girl was rewarded custody of her two kids, but I do agree that she needs to work on deeper issues regarding her choice of males and how to pick them. However, after 10 years of marriage, one would have thought she would be able to see the signs that he was cheating sooner. Here’s some advice Christie, for next time.

10 signs your husband’s just not that into you.

1. He comes home smelling of cheap Designer Imposter fragrances.
2. He auditions to be on the next season of The Bachelor.
3. He starts hanging out with Billy Joel every weekend.
4. He switches from boxer briefs to commando.
5. 976-SLUT is #1 on his speed dial.
6. Teenage girls keep calling the house asking for Peter Peter Pumpkineater.
7. He gets his balls waxed.
8. He starts calling you Chrystal instead of Christie.
9. His new ringtone is Secret Lover by Atlantic Starr.
10. One day he says “Chrystal, I’m just not that into you”.

Best wishes for your next marriage Christie. You know what they say, third time’s a charm.

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I know I’ve expressed my utter frustration and disappointment in our healthcare system before, but it’s starting to reach new heights.

My Mother recently underwent pretty extensive surgery – and by extensive, I mean lasting two hours. The medical facility that performed the procedure ironically performed the exact same procedure four weeks ago. When it was performed four weeks ago, it lasted a mere 20 minutes.

When I brought this to the attention of the surgeon, demanding to understand the delay, he simply informed me “Nothing can be done.” We THEN went and received 3 more opinions and it was confirmed that the doctor from the first procedure four weeks ago was too rushed. Apparently, he had thirteen surgeries scheduled in ONE day and was running five hours behind schedule. So instead of spending two careful hours on my Mother’s care, he gave her what I basically consider a “drive-by procedure”, getting her in and out as fast as possible, failing to perform all of the proper tests during the angiogram.

I can only imagine how the other twelve surgeries panned out.

To make a long story short, (I know, too late) four weeks later (and three different surgeon’s opinions later), my Mother had stents put into her groin at the Miami Vascular Institute. There they discovered that 30-40% was blocked in the groin artery, and they were able to open it up. The former medical facility said it couldn’t be done.

My Mother still has 2 blockages above the knee and 2 of the 3 arteries below the knee have completely shut down. But hopefully the procedure will be a temporary fix to help save her remaining leg. This is the latest battle, aside from her lung cancer.

The Moral of my story is … when it comes to the healthcare of your loved ones, get many, many opinions before you give up and accept your doctor's proposed fate. I’ve learned the hard way that doctors are not infallible, but rather human beings that screw up just like the rest of us. It brings to mind an old doctor joke that in light of current circumstances seems very appropo.

What’s the difference between God and a doctor?

God doesn’t think he’s a doctor.

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Warning: If you’re easily infuriated, don’t read on.

This shocking Bouncing Baby video posted on Youtube features a 16 year old Georgia teenager launching an 8-month-old infant into the air using an inflatable pillow. The baby landed several feet away on the floor and could be heard crying. Apparently, the baby's family had left the infant in the care of the family of the teen who was behind the camera shooting the video, according to authorities. After viewing the video, an area high school teacher contacted officials with the sheriff's department, who arrested the alleged “star” of the video whose only defense was thinking it would be funny to make a baby bounce.

How horrifying! Being a mom of 3, I think it emphasizes the importance of how scary and difficult it is to choose a baby sitter that you can trust. This teen should be sent to a juvenile detention center and given the maximum sentence as well as the HARSHEST OF HARSHEST treatments until he learns the lesson that every human life, whether young or old, is fragile and precious.

This is true child abuse at the expense of a prank joke to make HIM look important among his friends, and/or to achieve fame and stardom. I think he should be severely punished, then given at least 3 years assignment at the local pediatric ward of a hospital where his sole responsibility would be cleaning and washing dirty diapers...by hand.

On a more serious note; however, there are programs that strive to prepare children for the seriousness of child care. The American Red Cross offers an “Ultimate Babysitter's Training Camp” designed to cover the responsibilities of babysitting including: interviewing, safe play, age appropriate play, being a good role model, responding to emergencies, adult, child and infant CPR, first aid and more. Participants must be at least 11 years old by the day of the class. The price is $125 and includes a first aid kit, books, class materials, and more. Most importantly, the lessons learned are priceless.

In today’s environment, I would not let ANYONE baby sit that didn’t have this kind of training. Furthermore, I fully intend on having my daughters complete this course when and IF they choose to baby sit. You can never be too careful.

As for the Georgia teen, I'm guessing he's going to be bounced around a few times himself once he gets to juvie. Karma. It'll get you ever time.

Post a comment to 'Baby Bounce House? I don't think so.'

I will be speaking later this week at an education event for all marketers both online and offline sponsored by IPaper USA and the Florida Direct Marketing Association where businesses that are involved in cataloging (or not) are invited to come and absorb valuable tips and tactics to apply to their own industries when it comes to business marketing. It should be a grand old time.

Just between you and me, I'm excited...and nervous. My stomach is actually doing little Disney World amusement park ride flips as I blog. I've spoken publicly at numerous business functions, panels and conferences before, why am I nervous?

I guess it never gets any easier, and the butterflies are a good thing. Let's hear it for adrenaline. Some people sky dive, I give power-point presentations.

I will be back to report how it goes. I'm more than prepared and am ready to picture the entire audience in their underwear. That's my strategy and I'm sticking to it.

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It’s a bad time for shopping and an even worse time for retailers. Tons of cash-strapped consumers are ditching malls these days, forcing dozens of popular US retailers to close hundreds of stores.

While computer haven CompUSA is closing their doors for good, Sprint Nextel is following suit by disconnecting 125 locations. It might be sharp news to hear that the gadgets and gizmo masters that make up The Sharper Image have filed for bankruptcy and are consequently shutting down 90 to 180 stores. Even our trusted furniture retailer Levitz is closing it’s doors after 98 years. Can you believe it? I loved it at Levitz.

Other retailers shutting down shops are: Ann Taylor, 117 stores; Cache, 20 to 23 stores; Talbots, 100 stores; Gap, 85 stores; Foot Locker, 140 stores; Zales, 105 stores; Disney, 98 stores; Home Depot, 15 stores; Macy's, 9 stores; Pep Boys, 33 stores; Ethan Allen, 12 stores; Wilsons, 158 stores; Pacific Sunwear, 228 stores; Bombay Company, 384 stores; and Dillards, six stores.

It’s extremely sad, but I’m not really that surprised. Ten’s of thousands (millions) of consumers are now PREFERRING to shop online or via catalogs. The reasons are simple:

#1. Shopping either online or via catalogs saves time (with our hectic, rushed, over committed lives … we need all the extra time we can get).

#2. Shopping online allows you to quickly research and compare different brands, then once you decide on the brand … you’re able to shop around to get the best price.

#3. Catalog shopping is continuing to boom, in fact, the latest trends are for consumers to request ONLY the catalogs they desire (i.e. our premise for the entire company … receive the catalogs YOU want by requesting them) and the trend is to leisurely flip through catalog pages, then go online to place the orders. 800# call-ins are decreasing while online ordering is increasing. Yet consumers still want, desire and thrive on receiving something they can hold, touch, feel and take to bed or the bathroom with.

#4. Gas prices are outrageous. With all of the free shipping discounts available online, why drive to a store and be bothered with rude and often INCOMPETENT sales people, never finding the right size or color, and then schlepping through the parking lot and the traffic and the delays?

We are living in a cyber age, and as long as consumers have DSL and internet access at their disposal, the numbers of online sales will only continue to skyrocket. The more we choose virtual shopping over actual physical shopping, the more stores will disappear. Gives new meaning to the term “Shop ‘til they drop”.

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I’m sure at some point you’ve caught wind of that ridiculous thong news story that made it’s rounds on blogs around the world a couple of weeks ago. If you haven’t, here’s the gist of it.

Los Angeles traffic cop Macrida Patterson is suing the multi-million dollar lingerie chain Victoria's Secret for an eye injury she said she sustained from what she alleges to be a defective thong. As she was putting on the garment, a piece of metal "popped into my eye," Patterson said. "I was in excruciating pain."

If you take a look at the accompanying msnbc video interview with Today host Meredith Vieira, the defective metal piece in question is a tiny decorative heart resembling any random piece of jewelry. I’m surprised this woman hasn’t impaled herself every time she’s reached into a jewelry box. Patterson’s lawyer professed that his client endured severe pain and suffering as a result of this ordeal. Having not disclosed a dollar amount that will cure her pain and suffering, they’ve stated they simply want to make Macrida whole again.

Macrida looks pretty whole to me. In fact, I was half expecting to see her wearing an eye patch of some sort à la Pirate of the Caribbean Jack Sparrow. And, she doesn’t seem to have any problem with the Victoria’s Secret Miracle Bra she’s wearing to pump up her cleavage for that interview.

Personally, I feel only really sexy well-toned bodies should be wearing a thong, and not to insult LA’s finest, but from the looks of Macrida, she had no business wearing those panties in the first place. You should know right from thong Macrida. There is nothing worse than jello-butt or cellulite coming out of a thong. Perhaps her husband or boyfriend would have better luck winning a lawsuit suing Patterson for eye injuries he sustained after seeing her wearing said thong.

That couldn’t have been pretty.

Post a comment to 'So Thong, it's right.'

Last month, the Catalogs.com team packed up our offices and went Orlando or bust to attend the DMA’s: the Direct Mail Association’s Annual Conference for Catalog & Multi-channel Merchants. It wasn’t our first DMA excursion. In fact, not to brag, but I was a contributing panelist a couple of years back. It’s usually a fantastic experience offering opportunities to learn, grow, network and rub noses with thousands of future catalog clients as well as other internet professionals. That’s all it should have been, and more. In actuality, I regret to report, The DMA trip ended up being worse than a trip to the DMV.

We went through hours upon hours of prep including renting a van, filling it with swag, designing new brochures and schlepping 5 of our employees up north with us. Ultimately, the event ended up costing us $10,000 and then some. Little did we know we’d be faced with one giant detour once we got there.

Upon arrival at the convention center, we soon realized we were victims of the old switcheroo. Months earlier we had contracted for a specific prime booth location and lo and behold, we ended up in an isolated row off to the side with no other exhibitors and zero traffic. Nowhere land. It was the restaurant equivalent of the table in the back where you constantly get whacked by the swinging kitchen door. That’s right folks, we were the Thanksgiving kiddie table of the DMA’s.

We were misled, and felt taken advantage of. What good is having a contract, whether it be verbal or tangible, if it isn’t going to be upheld? We paid good money to be showcased and should have at the very least been notified of the change and given the opportunity to amend the situation. It’s all about ethics, isn’t it? After arguing with the guys in charge to no avail, we decided to take matters into our own hands. Sans permission, we ended up moving ourselves to a bigger, better location where we could re-join the land of the catalog living.
Business picked up, contacts were made, and we left with our heads held high, smiles on our faces, and a valuable lesson.

DMA conference fees - $10,000.00

New client revenue while stuck in nowhere land - $0.00

Standing your ground and refusing to give in – priceless.

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Rather than going the usual tie/casual shirt route this Father’s Day, my daughter was inspired when it came to gifting. She gave my husband a priceless piece of artwork. I know what you’re thinking… How much of an allowance are they giving this kid?

Allow me to clarify. It wasn’t a purchased work of art. It was made by her own two precious little artistic hands. It’s a still life of a single sunflower in a vase with a stunning blue background. It’s lovely. It’s exquisite. It’s already up on our office wall. Every time I look at it, I stifle tears and marvel… my daughter is the next Vincent Van Gogh.

Scratch that. Maybe the next Frida Kahlo. I would hate to imagine her going crazy and chopping her ear off twenty years from now à la Van Gogh, but there’s no denying it… the kid’s got talent. What’s more, she knew what to get for the man who is utterly impossible to shop for.

In the age of gift cards and e-greetings, it’s so easy for gift giving to become impersonal and detached. Our girl knows it’s not the price tag that matters, it’s the sentiment behind the gift that really racks up the brownie points. I’m stocking up on all the art supplies we need to keep our little Frida/Van Gogh/Picasso smocked up and painting. It’s so important to support our kids and encourage them creatively and artistically. Whether it’s a homemade greeting card, a dozen expertly baked sugar cookies, or a t-shirt decorated with fabric paint, let your kids know their creativity is appreciated, valued, and worth more than a million bucks.

Plus, my daughter’s painting is going to pay for her Dad’s and my retirement once it’s hanging at the Museum of Modern Art in New York. Thanks again honey.

Post a comment to 'Father's Day Masterpiece'